.eirto ediera.
.2wentieth.
.Shatekian host.
.Tp Graduant.
.cam-whorer.
.stars gazer.
.big dreamer.
.brown.
.e-Business Entrepreneur


.graduaTion.
.culinary academy.
.zenStone.
.w910i.
.license.
.move out.
.red vaio.
.loose weight.
.happy family.
.soulmate.


.new image.
.earns lotsa money.
.learns fishing.
.attend sewing lesson.
.shopping spree.
.travel abroad.
.dyes her hair.
.owns a small fridge.
.ear candling.
.star-shaped accessories.
.visits dentist.
.smile always =).
.chocs alice crocs.
.own closet.
.improve her communication skills.
.smaller butt.
.volunteerism.
.swap a better paid job.


.ifumissme.
.lookoutforthemoonlite.
.ifuadoresme.
.doholdmetite.
.ifuloveme.
.dosaysoeachnite.
.butifuhateme.
.it'llbealrite.





eki
fylo
hest
keem blog
keem site
nas
rauda
ruz
shad
su
zul



January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
July 2009
August 2009
November 2009
October 2010




ihavetried
andwillkeepontryin


Oct '08 heractualJourneyhasNotevenyet
...started!~

Jan '09 her Journey has just begun!

School!!!, here I am BACK!
weewiiittt!


No turning back anymore!
With full of guts and desire
am back for the 2nd time on their unexpected open house
Not just to clarify more doubts
I've gone through an unprepared interview
and I've made it!!!...
just ONCE, on my 1st ever trial
ouh yeah


Return ther again on my 3rd trip!
Finished up my lifetime savings for the fees.
(thou its not enough; thanx to daddy's bonus plus best bro uber kind help)
with a satisfyin heart and a smiley face
am now..
a Shatekian Host!
=))

*she herself can't believes that yet.

Enough of the mushy2 things in earlier post. Coz now it really involve my future. Haix. Again and again I got stuck. Days are numbered and still countin close the end. And I found out there's only one intake per year. Its closing soon I guessed. Suppose to drop Bukit Batok today. But am still uncertain and dat is why am holding back myself! After almost 5 months of uncertainity of my life. am still feelin uncertain wit not much survey and research. So i guess that is why am holdin myself back again. With no full support from everyone... Am still uncertain of myself to pursue my dreams.


Seriously...
Idiot eirto-.


But at least I did sent an email askin wheda there's vacancy for my last hope, before i did my final survey from others and confirm myself before I pursue another 3 years with a new learning experience and education that will secure my future.


Dear Allah, please give me another strength. The strength to continue my life and to finally secure my current and future situation that is so never endin at this moment.
Amin amin yaarabbal alamin...


*no words can describe how i feel for him rite now

Jangan lagi,

kau sesali keputusanku

Aku tak ingin

Kau semakin, akan terluka...

Am not use to see dear in the eyes
Not even use to talk face to face wit him yet.
It is still a difficult decision to for me to make,
To accept dear in my life at this moment.

I think am startin to fall real deep for him
And I do hope what he meant is true,
that he is sincere towards me.

Dear Allah, please give me the strength to face each day wit dear.
Amin..
*Only the time and fate will decide us.

...Why do I keep running away from the truth?

All I ever think about is you

You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized

And I've just got to know...

Declared on the Phone
Close to 4am in the morn.
Erghhh... Pinch me! Pinch me?!


Whatever it is...
am not his yet.
Fullstop!

Aku cuba lupakan

Tapi ku tak terdaya kasih

Namun sayang yang hadir

Membawa sinar..

Why me?!
Each time he tries to tell me somethin
I stop him and ignores..
Each time he calls me his 'syg'
i get mad and tell him to stop calling me that..


He has waited for me almost 1 month plus..
Just to get my phone number..
And in the end he finally took my number from the store..
After I jokingly said.. "u call me lar"
(regarding my mp3 i left in the store and there was customer he needs to handle)


He keep saying to me..
His heart is always bein left in the store in amk..
thou he is like the football bein kicked from another to the other..
His wifey is at amk..


Am i bein ego to guys?
For not giving them chances to win my heart..
Or am i bein 'stone' hearted?
For ignoring guys when they wanted to tell me somethin that comes from their heart?


Or am just not ready?
To let guys enter and melt my heart..
But til when must I continue bein likedat..
If I don't start now..


When will I have the chance to try somethin that i have longed wish for..
What am I still uncertain with?
Ahh.. Yesh...
The question from me to him is...
Why Me?!
But if I don't let him the chance...
To tell me somethin that he really wanna tell me..
When will I know rite?!
Stupid eirto-. !!!


And by giving him the chance to tell me what he wanna tell..
then i can ask him the question..
Why the me?! Rite?!
Haix, haix..
Its just a very difficult situation for me..
(When it doesn't look difficult at all)
Just to overcome that situation.. of? 'I wan 2 tell smth!!"
Idiot eirto-.!!!


These will never end..
Unless I sit down wit him and let him....
Tell what he wanna tell!~

...Harusnya takkan ku biarkan engkau pergi
Membuatku terpuruk rasa ingin mati...