am not a fighter yet
yesterday,
in the eyes of chef
am not one yet
what went wrong
okie i do realise i do make mistakes..
yest test
only my salsa failed
the salsa does NOT even have the tomato taste
i know somethin somewhere went wrong
my first trial was perfect..
but why it fail again durin test?
(like my steam fish during prev test)
it was so perfect during practice.
but fail during test..
haix
but what make another two has upgraded & improved themself
to become better
and fighter in the eyes of chef..?
each time during practicals..
when my end product was bein pointed as good or even top 3..
but wat still make me not a fighter yet?!
iszit because am a lady?!
i dun wanna be rated different from men.
to me, when chef announced that he wanna rate gurls just among gurls
and guys among guys...
i really feel disheartened.
but i guess i have to understand
guys are guys
and gurls will still be gurls..
we are different in many ways..
there's only 4 gurls of us in the class.
and that is not the competition i want
i really want to be rated as equal as the guys..
well eirto-.!! look ahead okie..
maybe it could be...
i have been always taking time to prepare my end product?!
or.. chef sees that am still not comfortable wit my own station?!
hmm.. what?
i dunno..
well, luqman really feel disheartened.
he showed it!
i did feel too at first..
but i just dun wanna show it..
coz i know i have to figure out..
what is dat still missin in me..
that i have not shine out yet..
hmm..
*maybe my discipline?! PUNCTUALITYwise?!
**plus each test have to be perfecto and not just practical...
***haixx
2:43 PM
so, i was just a bet
saw that title
yup i just knew it
okie fine whateva it is
guys are just sluts
oOpsy readers
i mean he is a big jerk!!!
so wat... if the feelings and the seriousness comes later after that bet
but still!
i was put to bet?!
idiot!!!!
and thank god the relationship was never yet started
and thanx to myself that i had been distancin away from him
for several weeks
and thou he realized i have actually keepin myself away
i should have known it earlier
and kept myself away far earlier from him long ago
bcoz i feel that he's too desperado
am like not even say yesh
but he is already 'over' (durin thinkin n tots) than i tot...
well, am really regret for callin him dear and givin dat hope to him
but thank god i did not said yesh in the first place!
fuhh..
a guy wit split personalities
say bout something this and another thing dat.
i guess he was also lying bout his background!
telling nad de anak dato' uh, owns a pub uh..
and wit me he said his dad was comp part exporter wateva shit..
his dad lost 8 million last year due to economy uh..
and if u're dat rich why did u still come to here to work?!
work in =) lagik?!
nad kate.. background cam org kaye.
uh abih duduk sini bayar api air pakai PAYU kape?!
tuhh name nye bebual WORLD mangkuk!
i really thank myself for not gettin to fall deep for him
ever since i started my school i really kept myself away from work
penah uh dok.
skool 6 days per week u noe
but its okie am havin fun as i mentioned earlier
*wink wink
and again am lucky dat i did not tell him much bout myself
my background, which school am in and even wat course am takin.
so at least its not dat difficult for me to get over wit him yea
dat feelings had already vanished even before i know bout the true of his real approach for me
slut! jerk! desporado!
earlier when he asked me..
" dah sampai rumah ke, what u doing?"
and i replied.. " its for me to know and not for you to concern!"
itu pun tak paham bahase
english pun fail camne nak kahwin ngn org sini..
kahwin dgn jenis kau sudah eh.
dah lah pemalas suke buli org
jangan harap org sini nak kau.. ntah2 org kau sane pun tanak kau jadi laki!
pepandai je eh bilang jovert kte dah together
when we are not...
meraban nye anak!
bilang nad nape eh irah asyik senyap je.. (eh aku nye pasal lar kan)
" aku btul sayang kat de.. " (sayang konon! pegidah)
"aku takut uh de reject aku.. (aku mmg tanak kau pun) aku tengok de kuat agama tak macam korang lain"(ouh yea)
"lau korang mesti tak kisah aku convert ke tak, mak aku dah lar tak bagi convert camne eh? (tuhh kau nye pasal uh)
............
ouh pandai eh cakap pasal convert smue, sayang konon.. org lain smue are attached and married tinggal irah serong je eh.. so since kakyu kate de cabar kau pikat ira to prove dat kononnye kau anak jantan huh... skrg si fana yg mmg dah ade matair yang still kau attack just bcoz aku dah malas nak layan kau.. btul2 crocodile eh... kakyu plak pandai eh suggest org dah tuhh dat time bleh bilang irah.. "dah lah irah amik je de" wat da toOt!!...
and now u're playin fire wit fana(already attached) when u urself still confronted wit nad bout me. see! guys are keberets.. i hate his type! and i've never tot his kind will approach me first. (when i actually prefer another kind) tuhh uh dat time jason ade tanak chris ke... kwang3. hitam jugak yang dtg..well indeed its a good experience for me not to accept one unless u noe him very well. i did a good move but still a lil regret when i feel dat i've given a lil hope dat he think i've fallen deep for him..
and yeah again.. wit no soulmate yet : am still a happy eirto-.
=))
1:44 AM
no soulmate yet = still a happy eirto-.
Bro, I may be the last one to know it.
but, I must say..
Its not too late to end it
and not too late too to start/restart a new one too.
things may get better somehow someday
and every situation that happens in life tuhan gave us..
may come wit a reason.
we human still doesn know how's life will be next.
and we just have to continue life till the fullest.
(i know u have always been)
things occur may somehow benefits both parties or maybe it doesnt
but whatever it is,
hopefully friendship btw us all will never apart from each other.
(including u and her, me and u both, us and others too..)
Insya allah.
thou am still surprised wit bro's break up thingy but somehow.. that's life.
the most scariest thing to start a relationship is..
an unwanted ending.
i may not have the experience at all yet.
but i can feel how both parties felt.
thou everything has come to an end,
eirto-. as a fren will always pray for her frens better life ahead.
okie =]
well..
this eirto has love upon her already.
making him waited close to 3 months
but seriously i don't give a damn
coz seriously i don't want him anymore.
hey, am not bad okie.
but i guess he is seriously not a good start for me.
but again the problem is...
when am gonna turn him down?!
seriuosly a big LOL
i have always wanted to tell him off
but its just that i dun wanna think bout it coz am havin fun with my own life u see
seriously its my school suite.
well, as much as i really one to have a soulmate b4 i turn 21st
it doesn't matter to me anymore.
celebratin valentine last saturday by distributing famous amos cookies had me feel happy.
love is about sharing and giving rite.
thou i do not have one.
so why not i celebrate wit my best Shatekian hosts(grp 2)
i still feel the love surround me.
they are another best group of mates in my life
coz basically we all share the same passion!
and am obviously happy because..
am starting to live my 21st of life meaningfully..
Dear Allah, thanx for giving me the opporuntity, to live my life to the fullest, thou I know I am not bein a good servant as always as of yet. (bad eirto-.) =!
* he's not my type!!!
12:03 AM
chef: wher's my five stars and a crescent?!
2:37 AM
chef, jangan merajuk eh
okie it was valentines' last saturday
so happy belated valentine everyone
=))
since i ordered a black canister of famous amos cookies from sis last month
i decided not to eat dat 200g of butterscotch cookies alone
valentine is about sharing love wit the one u love rite
since am in the process of dietin
(which has not officially started yet =p)
i guess sharin it wit my peers its a great idea
*wink wink
hmm 200g of cookies = 38 Shatekian hosts
mane enough lar kan!!
so, i decided only to give my grp2 during practical IS group
and while chef was lecturin wit Jamie Mc outside aft we finish wit cookin
i took the opportunity went ard and distribute it.
wee.. they seemed to like them and some ask for more (bukan pepsi eh)
well, am kinda shy wit the chef and decided not to offer him..
bad or not?!
it wasnt my purposely attitude okie..
am just so afraid he would think i was tryin to 'carry' in another 'be nice'
like other guys always mention when Syar offer to buy a cup of coffee or tea...
so last tuesday aft our IS,
as i was moppin the floor askin everyone to leave "people! o-u-f OUT!"
this 4 guys was still taggin ard wit chef talkin bout stuff ape lar dey..
wastin my time u know..
then suddenly i heard dear Sammy mentionin bout.. famous amos n Ira..
so i turn ard and suddenly chef was pointin and said "how cud you"
"huh... so nice to others and not me?!.. u're always ask me what can i subsitute this and dat"
long long question dat i've always asked during lesson..
and i did not offered him even just one..
Ouh no.. chef..
... "majuk nampak, majuk nampak!"
well it wasnt my intention okie not to give him.. i just afraid aft i offer den he doesnt want how? paisei kan.. aiya.. wateva it is.. nie smue dear Sammy fault for tellin chef.. "Ira was so nice giving famos amos cookies to everyone during valentine!" wahpiang!? -.-
really dunno wher to hide my face okie.
so Johnston was curious and he asked what happened, den he commented..
"well, it is da tot that counts"
hmm, dats true. if i have the thinkin dat i just wanna share, its no harm others reject it unless only if you have tried to offer.. but still Ira already feels paisei worst felt bad coz chef dah merajuk.. well he' s a man am sure skejap je tuhh.. but still, Irah pun satu gendeng eh! =p
2:36 AM
