.eirto ediera.
.2wentieth.
.Shatekian host.
.Tp Graduant.
.cam-whorer.
.stars gazer.
.big dreamer.
.brown.
.e-Business Entrepreneur


.graduaTion.
.culinary academy.
.zenStone.
.w910i.
.license.
.move out.
.red vaio.
.loose weight.
.happy family.
.soulmate.


.new image.
.earns lotsa money.
.learns fishing.
.attend sewing lesson.
.shopping spree.
.travel abroad.
.dyes her hair.
.owns a small fridge.
.ear candling.
.star-shaped accessories.
.visits dentist.
.smile always =).
.chocs alice crocs.
.own closet.
.improve her communication skills.
.smaller butt.
.volunteerism.
.swap a better paid job.


.ifumissme.
.lookoutforthemoonlite.
.ifuadoresme.
.doholdmetite.
.ifuloveme.
.dosaysoeachnite.
.butifuhateme.
.it'llbealrite.





eki
fylo
hest
keem blog
keem site
nas
rauda
ruz
shad
su
zul



January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
July 2009
August 2009
November 2009
October 2010




ihavetried
andwillkeepontryin


Oct '08 heractualJourneyhasNotevenyet
...started!~

Jan '09 her Journey has just begun!

Yest, before I visit atok
was suppose to favour Man to teach me Food cost
but in the end
it was a sharing session for us
its not just a sharing session
but it was an eye-opening
yet a heart-pain incident..

he told me bout
black birds surrounded him for 3 weeks
just before his granny passed away
he told me it wasnt any black bird
its the burung gagak
hearing that
my eyes was in the pool of tears..
yar, Man was shocked
so I was tellin him dat wed mornin
bout my face was almost bein hit by black bird
and da nite b4 (tues nite)
Mak Munah called home
askin abah to visit atok..
coz atok doesnt wanna eat and he's not talkin anymore

when i visit atok yest,
i can see dat he may be not long
but everytime i thought bout dat
i will try to put dat feelin away
and tell myself nothin will happen
the aunts was tellin
that abah said we have to just wait for his time to come..
i just cant stop cryin
even when i was odw to school just now
i shed tears on the train
i did not want to study for test
2 papers lagik
i told workplace i dun have the heart to work this weekend
its just my heart its not controllable anymore

i told ibu bout what i experience
bout the black bird
and it happened before to a fren
and ibu said..
those abah's jemaah too
receive somekind of heart feelings and instinct bout atok

i just can't take this anymore
seriously am not prepared.
thanx Man for calming me down
but I cant
*I still wanna cry..

last tuesday
while having break the guys was questionin stuff
regarding love life
their views of knowing i've been out wit this wsc guy
who already i treat him like my own brother..
and 'sally' tellin them he saw me and Zul together
(like so?! just mam and jalan2 je pe)
no harm pe bein friends.

they also asked how many ex'es i had
what type of guy i prefer..
the build, the looks and stuff
so kay-po
well i dun mind sharing
coz they said maybe they can look out for me
haks.. like real only.. i just don't care
and more like.. why gurls always 'mrajuk'
why gurls always tells lies to their partner and stuff like dat..
well, some i really dunno
coz i've never had those experience
but at least i still gave them my point of view
so yar..

on the way home aft classes
i head to causeway point as usual to get important stuff
like stationeries and stuff.
aft that on my way back..
i saw few insurance agents outside causeway and i was trying
to figure out which company they were from
and i saw one of their files
it stated Prudential.
so i looked around
and to my surprise.. that guy i met
way back months ago at pasir ris was there again?!
well i was kinda happy uh..
coz i did mention in my previous post that
IF i were to meet him again..
there could be a fate..
coz this time.
its not the first like at cck
and not just 2nd at Pasir ris
but now again?

i msg shaf regardin whom i saw
and she replied..
"agaknye jodoh kau dgn de tak?"
haix..
padehal, when we were on train together..
we were dicussin what the guys was questionin me earlier
and shaf was tellin me.. its okay
and u'll find ur Mr Right someday..

but i just dunwan to meet my Mr Right
during saddening period like.. hmm
i have a wish u see..
i have missed the opportunity of showing him-who? to nenek
and now nenek has gone
and i really want the opportunity of showing
that him-who? to atok (my only grandparent left)
but i guess
everythin will be too late
coz i will never have that opportunity again
i know i wont
coz what happen lately
is so in front of my own eyes..
i cant push or pull the time again
searchin for him-who?
and hoping i can show that him-who?..
to someone whom is the only grandparent

so..
what the point?
well, its just my 'niat' or 'will' u see..

*but i know its too late for now..
*its really too late
*coz it seems he cannot be saved anymore

it was the crow
(if the english term is correct uh)
in other words "burung gagak"
i was on the way home from work
yest wednesday mornin
was heading the bustop
when suddenly this black bird
flew right in front of me
and i swear my face really hit it..
i messaged bro bestie regardin that incident
tellin him like so.. wth!
and den he joke with me that
i may turn into birdwoman..
and den i laughed away..

ku akui kelamahan diri

ku insafi kekurangan ini

*its not the end yet

at times...

i feel like leaving home

and stay by myself

its just too painful

coz it really annoys

cinta ini, membunuhku

* it's nothin, just siblings business